London, 27 June 2022

Today I went to a chiropractor for the first time in my life. He cracked, released, and manipulated my (almost) entire body, and I was really excited for any spine-cracking sounds. Very eager, I followed Nick’s instructions and tried to be as limp as possible in his hands. I wish I could do this every week.

Initially, I went because my neck had been hurting since last Friday, but I wanted an overall adjustment. The practitioner told me my pelvis was not level, which caused my whole body to act out.

I felt much better and even happier when I walked out!

The bone-setting could also be seen as an allegory for my journey here in the UK. Getting adjusted bit by bit, waiting for the satisfying cracking to leave me soothed and free.

It’s been 117 days since our arrival on the first of April, and I’ve come a long way from snowy weather and COVID-19 to visiting osteopaths and smoking weed from a local dealer.

And just like the spine adjustment, it comes with slight pain, discomfort, and fear.

London presents itself as self-confident, adventurous, diverse, and fashionable, but it is not welcoming like a loving mother. I felt like a foreign object for a long time and still would not call the city my home, although I like it here. It seems like I am still a visitor.

That also makes me want to leave and travel for any occasion, so I went to Berlin in May, Austria in July, and probably Germany in August for work, before finally heading to my dream destination, Sicily, to find my true self in volcanic soils, lemon orchards, and deep blue bays.

This week, I am alone in our flat in Bow, as Topo started rehearsing his first play in Stratford-upon-Avon. And although our daily lives are very intertwined and comfortable, I enjoy the me-time a little too much and indulge in binge-watching, binge-cleaning, shopping, and weed. It feels amazing to just do my stuff after months of 24/7 togetherness.

Next weekend, I will probably take a train to the north to spend some time in Stratford with Topo, but I won’t stay the entire time. The thought of packing my suitcase and traveling makes my heart jump.

Besides wanting to be somewhere else, I miss my friends, of course, so I am more than pleased that Letizian is in town and spent quite some time with us. We even went out to a wild clubbing on Friday and saw Tom Daley.

He’ll be back tomorrow and spend one night on our sofa, before taking me to The Wolseley for tea and heading to Portugal. I went to The Wolseley with Giorgo in around 2007, 15 years ago, and was told not to take photos with my Casio digicam. Some things last longer than others…

John and Guillermo are also dear friends in town, always warm and welcoming and making an effort to include me and Topo in their circle. The last white party at their friend’s roof was good fun, despite the fight about it I had with Topo the days before. He eventually borrowed my white pants and went with me.

I watched a new Netflix documentary yesterday and the first episode was about LSD. I firmly believe in unlocking unreleased potential by breaking down the boundaries of our consciousness and mind to access the full power and dimension of our brain. A lot is in me that is being repressed by – myself! I want to overcome myself and free my heart. Knowing this is already a step in the right direction, but the epiphany will need some stronger catalyst. Then I am capable of so much more. Or at least, live my life with more ease and joy. The outcome can’t be bad, I would say, so the goal is to find a way to safely explore psychedelics this year. Let’s see.

So much more to talk about, so much has happened and is going to, but for now, sleep, well-adjusted.