London, 07 January 2023

Sometimes your intuition knows what the right thing to do is or what is inevitably coming ahead. Even though we tell ourselves stories to distract, deflect, and dodge the question.

Today, I went to the Buddhist Centre for lunchtime meditation. It was good — hard, with my mind wandering and back aching — but good. I spoke to Kiran afterward, a shy journalist who volunteers there every Saturday.

Afterward, I walked through the streets in the gray, wet cold and returned home to smoke pot.

I had this realization: no matter what my actions are now, everything in me will lead to the future I am supposed to live. Even through sideways and crossing different paths, it will still manifest itself one way or another.

I am resistant and resilient and have been for a long time, but I will eventually reach a point of no return that leads the way.

For now, I’ve decided I am a digital nomad, stranded in London, making the best of my time. That was the other all-so-clear realization I had in the meditation room: make EVERY breath count, open your eyes, ears, and heart, and live this moment! For it is this moment only that exists.